Private Dancer?

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Note the ballerina stick figure on the ground with its head snapped off.  Accident?  I think not.

And I thought that Black Swan was dark... yikes.

Confessions of a Toy Abandoner

Spotted in... my living room.  SIGH.

And yes - if you're wondering, I do believe they were calling out for me from the confines of their plastic grave...

I had kept some of my childhood toys in the unbelievably vain hope that I would someday pass them on to my spawn.  Well, that time has come - Baby Abandoned Toys is on his way.  But with one look at (and smell of) these critters, I realized that there was no way in hell that I was going to let my kid snuggle up to one of them.

So they needed to go.  Which brings me to my second unbelievably vain hope - that somebody else would want my funky smelling/looking old toys!   Needless to say, it is very, very difficult to donate used stuffed animals to charity - most likely because of the bed bug epidemic.  But I also imagine it has something to do with the fact that no matter how much you launder a beloved childhood bear, you can never really get his matted fur into a semi-presentable state (or smell).

So, with a heavy heart, I watched my better half put the toys in a garbage bag and walk it down to the curb.  I then refused to exit the apartment until the trash was collected the next day - luckily, there had been no rooting through the bag; I don't think I could have handled seeing my critters strewn across the sidewalk and street.

I kinda feel like I had this coming - biblical parables are ringing in my ears ("Lest not ye be judged"), as well as a few of the secular variety (rocks and glass houses, pot calling kettle black, etc).   I hear you, cruel universe - but the blog must go on!

Abandoned Toys: Tween "Achy Breaky" Edition

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 6th Ave:

Party in the USA indeed...

I always assumed that Miley would eventually end up on the streets; just not like this.

School's Out!

Ahhhh June.  What a great month.  Not only does it mark the transition from spring into summer, but also the end of the school year for thousands of kids across the country.

And how do these kids celebrate?

The ritual for high school kids, if I remember correctly, involves the violent destruction of notes and projects from the year, followed by the consumption of copious amounts of cheap beer and overly sweet liqueurs.  Because nothing says "I'm so adult" like a Peach Schnapps hangover...

For wee kids, giving a giant F-You to the year that was is slightly more nuanced.

Consider the following, spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 13th Street:

Sadly, this is about the size of the desk in my home office

Perhaps the former occupant of the desk simply outgrew it.  But the traces of angry scribbles on the chalkboard give me pause to think that something more subversive is going on; an indication that this pre-K kid has had it with booklearnin' for the year.

And what about this easel, spotted on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Tool of creativity or symbol of oppression?

Was the former owner simply too old to continue finger painting?  Or does the tossing of this easel represent the protestations of a child hoping to overthrow the oppressive regime of having to produce art en masse every afternoon?

Perhaps we'll never know for sure, but I have my suspicions...

Thug Life

Today's post comes courtesy of reader Ceci, who spotted these treasures in Carroll Gardens on President Street and Hicks Street:

DAMN - when did life in Carroll Gardens get so rough? 

In all seriousness, there are a few very important parts to this post.

First things first, where the heck did these guns come from?  Did our reader stumble upon the stockpile of a tween militia?  Or is this sad photo the result of anti-gun parents forcing a giveaway?  Regardless, I love that the owners took the time to arrange them so nicely.

Second, note the gun in the front:

Zut Alors! (That's for our Francophone audience)

What now?  Is that a homemade... bayonet?!?  Total gangsta living, French Revolution style.

Finally, I like that a jaunty little yellow guy was also included with the heavy artillery:

Nothing says thug like a fluorescent firearm

These are violent, dangerous times, my friends - fingers crossed the situation doesn't escalate to full-blown water balloon fights...

Too...Many...Puns...

Spotted in the Slope on Prospect Ave and Webster Place:

Thank you, Miss Katherine, thank you indeed...

This photo is a total pun gold mine for me:

1. "Wow, is Katherine ever trashed"... OR

2. "Wow, Katherine is really down in the dumps"... OR

3. "Wow, Katerine is really (upside) down in the dumps"...

It's just too much goodness!

Sweet Dreams

Spotted in the Slope on 9th Street and 4th Ave: 

I don't care what this kid's mom told him - giving up a race car bed for a big boy bed is NOT a step forward.

Hoop Dreams

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Didn't even get a chance to be a baller... SIGH.

I think I just felt a little piece of someone's childhood die...