Solo Han Solo

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 9th Street:

Where's Chewbacca at?

May the force be with you, little buddy...

Puppy Love

Spotted in the Slope on 10th Street and 6th Ave:

The sad puppy whimpers are basically boring a hole through your soul, no?

Dear Lord!  Talk about extreme guilt in leaving this little guy to his tragic fate - it felt exactly the same as going to an animal shelter and not coming home with at least one new furry friend :(

Repeat Offender! For the Love of Stuffed Animals!

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 9th Street:

At least this little guy is well equipped to self-soothe by rocking himself back and forth...

If the background surrounding this elephant looks familiar, it should: these are the same folks behind Pooh Bear's tragic demise, reported by ATIB back in August.

What is with these monsters?  More specifically: what do they have against stuffed animals?

Agent Orange

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 14th Street:

He holds his own on the mean streets of Brooklyn, no?

It appears that this orange fella may have fallen out of a sleeping toddler's hands while being wheeled around Brooklyn.  Or perhaps he is an escapee from last week's bath toys, all of whom are almost certainly destined for a landfill life...

Regardless, and on the upside, given his spongy makeup, perhaps he'll grow up to be the size of a real teddy bear if it rains.  Dream big, little guy, dream big...

Oy vey

To set the stage: This past weekend, my better half and I were walking in the Slope when I spotted a series of abandoned toys up the block.  While I was photographing some of the toys, Mr. Abandoned Toys wandered ahead, at which point I heard him say say "Wait, is this one... Jewish?!?"

Indeed - spotted in the Slope on 10th Street and 6th Ave (and just in time for Rosh Hashanah!):

Wait - what do we have here?

OMG (Old Testament) - It's Mitzvah Bear!

I have so many unanswered questions:

1. Why is there a blue stool taped to Elmo's left paw?

2. Why are Mitzvah Bear and Elmo holding paws?  Did we catch Mitzvah Bear in the midst of performing a mitzvah on Elmo?  Or is he trying to convert Elmo?  Or... is Elmo Jewish already?

3. This one is a bit esoteric, but how does abandoning the Mitzvah Bear correlate with the concept of a mitzvah generally?

Religion is SO COMPLICATED sometimes.

Someone's not an Elmo fan

Today's post comes via the talented voice behind Nom Nom Emporium, who spotted what is clearly the aftermath of a brat attack on the Northwest Corner of Union and Court Streets:

Perfect caption, as suggested by our tipster: "Mackenzie really wanted a pony for her 7th birthday..."

Dude is barely out of the birthday wrapping paper - I mean, COME ON!

According to our tipster, this scene also represented a strange instance of life immitating art, as she herself was abruptly dumped by a new beau the day after snapping this photo.

Coincidence?  I think not.  Elmo knows all, fair readers - by smiling through what is clearly every toy's worst nightmare, he teaches us that when life kicks you in the shins, be happy that you at least have a trash bin to lean up against.  Hmmm - not quite the insightful parable I was looking for - but you know what I'm getting at.

Off Roadin'

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

Trash or the aftermath of an extreme tricycling incident?  You decide.

Polly Wants... a Second Chance

Today's post comes via reader Mike, who spotted the below atrocity in Sunset Park:

I sort of expected to see pigeons in mourning, surrounding their fallen kin...

Sadly, this is the second bird-related posting in as many months (we all remember the tragic rooster incident from earlier this summer). 

I personally like to think that somewhere, perhaps as near as the shores of Ikea in Red Hook, a pirate is frantically searching for his lost parrot.  However, I fear that this bird's sad fate is more likely the result of some toddler's capricious wrath. 

There are no honey pots where you're going, buddy...

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 9th Street:

Brave little guy - be strong, Pooh, be strong...

Just because his name is Pooh does not mean that he should be treated like a piece of crap.

Private Dancer?

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Note the ballerina stick figure on the ground with its head snapped off.  Accident?  I think not.

And I thought that Black Swan was dark... yikes.

So this is what affordable NY housing looks like, Pt 4: Retail Space

So far, my posts on affordable NY real estate have focused on residential domiciles (for a refresher, take a look at my first, second and third housing posts).  This week, I consider the impact of rising rents on small business owners in Brooklyn.

Take, for example, the below Animal Hospital, spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

Note the reading material thoughtfully provided in the Vet's "waiting room"

There is a clear vacancy at the hospital, as evidenced by the open purple door (alternatively, there is a rabid dog on the loose - but that's a different post...).  Will the Vet be able to continue to afford to pay an astronomical Slope rent without full occupancy?  Or will this local hospital suffer the same fate as so many other small businesses in the neighborhood?

I know one little guy (also spotted on 11th Street and 7th Ave) who's counting on the hospital remaining open:

It appears the horse may have lost his legs in some sort of farming accident, given all of the machinery piled up to the left of him

Poor fella - just one short, errrr, step away from the glue factory...

Rejected Dust Buster

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 8th Ave:

Poor little guy - he just wants to clean!

I think it's his naive smile that makes this so sad...

So this is what affordable NY housing looks like, Pt 3: Tent City

Sadly, I have another NY housing-related entry (for a recap on what's been covered thus far, have a look at my first and second housing posts).

The optimism that resulted from the beautiful dollhouses I found in June has been completely decimated by the following monstrosity, spotted on 5th Street and 7th Ave:

On the up side, how many Brooklyn apartments have you seen with natural light on all four sides - PLUS a skylight?

It's like a makeshift tent city... for toddlers!  Is this the start of a transient baby community?  Or was space inside the adjacent brownstone at such a premium that the parents decided to put their kid's room outside?

Such a sad state of affairs...

UnBEARable Tragedy...

Today's post comes via reader Allen, who spotted this sad little fella in Cobble Hill on Clinton Street and Pacific Street:

It's not clear to me whether this was some kid's beloved Teddy, or a cheesy adult bear (i.e., the kind of bear a dude might give his lady on Valentine's Day).  I guess it is the neck bow, which cheapens the overall bear look, no?

Anyways, if the bear belonged to a kid, it appears that he was loved... TO DEATH (note the gaping wound on his left leg).  Or maybe he was a stabbing victim (the Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill neighborhood is getting rough these days, after all).

But if the bear belonged to an adult, I'm left with even more questions.  Was his leg torn in a sordid breakup argument and then tossed with all of the ex's clothing?  Or perhaps Teddy had it with living in a broken home and decided to self-inflict a near fatal injury, just to get another chance on the outside...

Thoughts?

School's Out!

Ahhhh June.  What a great month.  Not only does it mark the transition from spring into summer, but also the end of the school year for thousands of kids across the country.

And how do these kids celebrate?

The ritual for high school kids, if I remember correctly, involves the violent destruction of notes and projects from the year, followed by the consumption of copious amounts of cheap beer and overly sweet liqueurs.  Because nothing says "I'm so adult" like a Peach Schnapps hangover...

For wee kids, giving a giant F-You to the year that was is slightly more nuanced.

Consider the following, spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 13th Street:

Sadly, this is about the size of the desk in my home office

Perhaps the former occupant of the desk simply outgrew it.  But the traces of angry scribbles on the chalkboard give me pause to think that something more subversive is going on; an indication that this pre-K kid has had it with booklearnin' for the year.

And what about this easel, spotted on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Tool of creativity or symbol of oppression?

Was the former owner simply too old to continue finger painting?  Or does the tossing of this easel represent the protestations of a child hoping to overthrow the oppressive regime of having to produce art en masse every afternoon?

Perhaps we'll never know for sure, but I have my suspicions...

Thug Life

Today's post comes courtesy of reader Ceci, who spotted these treasures in Carroll Gardens on President Street and Hicks Street:

DAMN - when did life in Carroll Gardens get so rough? 

In all seriousness, there are a few very important parts to this post.

First things first, where the heck did these guns come from?  Did our reader stumble upon the stockpile of a tween militia?  Or is this sad photo the result of anti-gun parents forcing a giveaway?  Regardless, I love that the owners took the time to arrange them so nicely.

Second, note the gun in the front:

Zut Alors! (That's for our Francophone audience)

What now?  Is that a homemade... bayonet?!?  Total gangsta living, French Revolution style.

Finally, I like that a jaunty little yellow guy was also included with the heavy artillery:

Nothing says thug like a fluorescent firearm

These are violent, dangerous times, my friends - fingers crossed the situation doesn't escalate to full-blown water balloon fights...

Too...Many...Puns...

Spotted in the Slope on Prospect Ave and Webster Place:

Thank you, Miss Katherine, thank you indeed...

This photo is a total pun gold mine for me:

1. "Wow, is Katherine ever trashed"... OR

2. "Wow, Katherine is really down in the dumps"... OR

3. "Wow, Katerine is really (upside) down in the dumps"...

It's just too much goodness!

Sweet Dreams

Spotted in the Slope on 9th Street and 4th Ave: 

I don't care what this kid's mom told him - giving up a race car bed for a big boy bed is NOT a step forward.

Counting Sheep

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 5th Avenue:

♫ One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do... ♫

Deer Down

Self-explanatory post.  Spotted in the Slope last week on 11th Street:

And the close up: