Oy vey

To set the stage: This past weekend, my better half and I were walking in the Slope when I spotted a series of abandoned toys up the block.  While I was photographing some of the toys, Mr. Abandoned Toys wandered ahead, at which point I heard him say say "Wait, is this one... Jewish?!?"

Indeed - spotted in the Slope on 10th Street and 6th Ave (and just in time for Rosh Hashanah!):

Wait - what do we have here?

OMG (Old Testament) - It's Mitzvah Bear!

I have so many unanswered questions:

1. Why is there a blue stool taped to Elmo's left paw?

2. Why are Mitzvah Bear and Elmo holding paws?  Did we catch Mitzvah Bear in the midst of performing a mitzvah on Elmo?  Or is he trying to convert Elmo?  Or... is Elmo Jewish already?

3. This one is a bit esoteric, but how does abandoning the Mitzvah Bear correlate with the concept of a mitzvah generally?

Religion is SO COMPLICATED sometimes.

Sit back and relax (IF YOU DARE)...

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

That chair must have been home to one hell of an angry house cat...

In theory, this whole set up is so inviting - one could casually play with sponge bath shapes while reclining in the thoughtfully provided chair.  However, the fact that the chair looks like it was ravaged by a wild tiger and/or has fallen victim to an insidious bed bug infestation makes it unlikely that any passerby would even think about sitting down, let alone touch the bath toys.

Nope - I think the bath toys would fare much better if they were accompanied by this little chair, which was spotted in Manhattan on East 12th Street and 2nd Ave:

This chair was clearly well loved, as evidenced by the number of stickers on it

Brooklyn and Manhattan, isn't it about time that we started working together?  For the love of abandoned toys, if nothing else...

Footloose and (Fancy?) Free

Abandoned Toys is going slightly off-topic today to explore a disturbing development in the Slope: abandoned kids' shoes.  Consider the following examples:

Tragic - it looks like they are attempting to walk back through the gate; one last sad attempt to be reunited with their owner...

Ice cold treatment indeed...

Were the magazines included to entice onlookers to also consider the shoes, or vice versa?

Velcro and Crocs - free and orthopedic!

Who doesn't love a good flop?

Note the common theme: with the exception of the first photo, exceptional care and attention has been placed into displaying the shoes.  Perhaps shoe abandonment is not as tragic as I first thought - these shoes may get a second chance after all!  The more I think about it, what's really alarming about these photos is the implication that countless kids are running wild with bare feet - I foresee an explosion of planter warts and athlete's foot in the neighborhood... Gross.

Someone's not an Elmo fan

Today's post comes via the talented voice behind Nom Nom Emporium, who spotted what is clearly the aftermath of a brat attack on the Northwest Corner of Union and Court Streets:

Perfect caption, as suggested by our tipster: "Mackenzie really wanted a pony for her 7th birthday..."

Dude is barely out of the birthday wrapping paper - I mean, COME ON!

According to our tipster, this scene also represented a strange instance of life immitating art, as she herself was abruptly dumped by a new beau the day after snapping this photo.

Coincidence?  I think not.  Elmo knows all, fair readers - by smiling through what is clearly every toy's worst nightmare, he teaches us that when life kicks you in the shins, be happy that you at least have a trash bin to lean up against.  Hmmm - not quite the insightful parable I was looking for - but you know what I'm getting at.

Trunks and Tapes

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 5th Ave:

"You touch, you buy"

I've decided that this elephant isn't abandoned.  No sir - he's an independent business owner, running a small resale audio cassette shop.  And despite a dwindling market base, he's still a real bitch to haggle with.

Off Roadin'

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

Trash or the aftermath of an extreme tricycling incident?  You decide.

Polly Wants... a Second Chance

Today's post comes via reader Mike, who spotted the below atrocity in Sunset Park:

I sort of expected to see pigeons in mourning, surrounding their fallen kin...

Sadly, this is the second bird-related posting in as many months (we all remember the tragic rooster incident from earlier this summer). 

I personally like to think that somewhere, perhaps as near as the shores of Ikea in Red Hook, a pirate is frantically searching for his lost parrot.  However, I fear that this bird's sad fate is more likely the result of some toddler's capricious wrath.