Down the Rabbit Hole

First things first, sorry about the delay in posts.  Baby Abandoned Toys was born in October and, believe it or not, has turned out to be a lot of work!  So yeah - I'm a little behind in keeping up with this blog.  Anyhoo... enough about me...

Spotted outside of a yoga class at the Park Slope Armory YMCA:

Do you think he's going for the emergency exit?

Either someone forgot his favorite bunny at the gym, or this rabbit is working his little tail off.  You decide.

Come and Knock on our Door...

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 11th Street:

What's that on the stoop there?

Ah!  Dinosaurs and MORE!

Question: What's the "More" in "Dinosaurs and More"?  The individual book titles seem pretty dino specific.  Just sayin'.

And just so you know, I totally risked trespassing charges by walking inside of the property's gate to get a close up of the books.  THE THINGS I DO FOR THE LOVE OF ABANDONED TOYS!

Puppy Love

Spotted in the Slope on 10th Street and 6th Ave:

The sad puppy whimpers are basically boring a hole through your soul, no?

Dear Lord!  Talk about extreme guilt in leaving this little guy to his tragic fate - it felt exactly the same as going to an animal shelter and not coming home with at least one new furry friend :(

Pop Princess

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

At first glance, I thought this was just a jazzy purse for a princessy little girl.  But closer inspection revealed possibly my best find ever:

Classic style, but retro technology :(

That's right - a DISNEY PRINCESS DISCMAN!  Holy crap!  My inner 12 year-old just about passed out!

In a landfill somewhere, there is a mix-disc with Angela Lansbury's "Beauty and the Beast" on it, just dying to be played on this little piece of awesomeness...

Brooklyn Gold Rush!

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 12th Street:

There is something about the combination of the desk, water mill toy and work pants that makes me think this vignette is basically a kiddie gold prospecting operation.

Repeat Offender! For the Love of Stuffed Animals!

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 9th Street:

At least this little guy is well equipped to self-soothe by rocking himself back and forth...

If the background surrounding this elephant looks familiar, it should: these are the same folks behind Pooh Bear's tragic demise, reported by ATIB back in August.

What is with these monsters?  More specifically: what do they have against stuffed animals?

Agent Orange

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 14th Street:

He holds his own on the mean streets of Brooklyn, no?

It appears that this orange fella may have fallen out of a sleeping toddler's hands while being wheeled around Brooklyn.  Or perhaps he is an escapee from last week's bath toys, all of whom are almost certainly destined for a landfill life...

Regardless, and on the upside, given his spongy makeup, perhaps he'll grow up to be the size of a real teddy bear if it rains.  Dream big, little guy, dream big...

Oy vey

To set the stage: This past weekend, my better half and I were walking in the Slope when I spotted a series of abandoned toys up the block.  While I was photographing some of the toys, Mr. Abandoned Toys wandered ahead, at which point I heard him say say "Wait, is this one... Jewish?!?"

Indeed - spotted in the Slope on 10th Street and 6th Ave (and just in time for Rosh Hashanah!):

Wait - what do we have here?

OMG (Old Testament) - It's Mitzvah Bear!

I have so many unanswered questions:

1. Why is there a blue stool taped to Elmo's left paw?

2. Why are Mitzvah Bear and Elmo holding paws?  Did we catch Mitzvah Bear in the midst of performing a mitzvah on Elmo?  Or is he trying to convert Elmo?  Or... is Elmo Jewish already?

3. This one is a bit esoteric, but how does abandoning the Mitzvah Bear correlate with the concept of a mitzvah generally?

Religion is SO COMPLICATED sometimes.

Sit back and relax (IF YOU DARE)...

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

That chair must have been home to one hell of an angry house cat...

In theory, this whole set up is so inviting - one could casually play with sponge bath shapes while reclining in the thoughtfully provided chair.  However, the fact that the chair looks like it was ravaged by a wild tiger and/or has fallen victim to an insidious bed bug infestation makes it unlikely that any passerby would even think about sitting down, let alone touch the bath toys.

Nope - I think the bath toys would fare much better if they were accompanied by this little chair, which was spotted in Manhattan on East 12th Street and 2nd Ave:

This chair was clearly well loved, as evidenced by the number of stickers on it

Brooklyn and Manhattan, isn't it about time that we started working together?  For the love of abandoned toys, if nothing else...

Footloose and (Fancy?) Free

Abandoned Toys is going slightly off-topic today to explore a disturbing development in the Slope: abandoned kids' shoes.  Consider the following examples:

Tragic - it looks like they are attempting to walk back through the gate; one last sad attempt to be reunited with their owner...

Ice cold treatment indeed...

Were the magazines included to entice onlookers to also consider the shoes, or vice versa?

Velcro and Crocs - free and orthopedic!

Who doesn't love a good flop?

Note the common theme: with the exception of the first photo, exceptional care and attention has been placed into displaying the shoes.  Perhaps shoe abandonment is not as tragic as I first thought - these shoes may get a second chance after all!  The more I think about it, what's really alarming about these photos is the implication that countless kids are running wild with bare feet - I foresee an explosion of planter warts and athlete's foot in the neighborhood... Gross.

Someone's not an Elmo fan

Today's post comes via the talented voice behind Nom Nom Emporium, who spotted what is clearly the aftermath of a brat attack on the Northwest Corner of Union and Court Streets:

Perfect caption, as suggested by our tipster: "Mackenzie really wanted a pony for her 7th birthday..."

Dude is barely out of the birthday wrapping paper - I mean, COME ON!

According to our tipster, this scene also represented a strange instance of life immitating art, as she herself was abruptly dumped by a new beau the day after snapping this photo.

Coincidence?  I think not.  Elmo knows all, fair readers - by smiling through what is clearly every toy's worst nightmare, he teaches us that when life kicks you in the shins, be happy that you at least have a trash bin to lean up against.  Hmmm - not quite the insightful parable I was looking for - but you know what I'm getting at.

Trunks and Tapes

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 5th Ave:

"You touch, you buy"

I've decided that this elephant isn't abandoned.  No sir - he's an independent business owner, running a small resale audio cassette shop.  And despite a dwindling market base, he's still a real bitch to haggle with.

Off Roadin'

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

Trash or the aftermath of an extreme tricycling incident?  You decide.

Polly Wants... a Second Chance

Today's post comes via reader Mike, who spotted the below atrocity in Sunset Park:

I sort of expected to see pigeons in mourning, surrounding their fallen kin...

Sadly, this is the second bird-related posting in as many months (we all remember the tragic rooster incident from earlier this summer). 

I personally like to think that somewhere, perhaps as near as the shores of Ikea in Red Hook, a pirate is frantically searching for his lost parrot.  However, I fear that this bird's sad fate is more likely the result of some toddler's capricious wrath. 

There are no honey pots where you're going, buddy...

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 9th Street:

Brave little guy - be strong, Pooh, be strong...

Just because his name is Pooh does not mean that he should be treated like a piece of crap.

Private Dancer?

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Note the ballerina stick figure on the ground with its head snapped off.  Accident?  I think not.

And I thought that Black Swan was dark... yikes.

Timely Smurf Abandonment!

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Street and 5th Ave:

Whaaaaaa?  No Gargamel?

Just in time for the new Smurfs movie!  I wonder if the former owners were waiting for the film (and I use that term loosely) to come out before attempting to give away their neglected 1980s cartoon merchandise?

In any event, I was almost impressed with this stoop's presentation - however, some additional care could have been put into lining up the toys - in particular, poor Smurfette could have been placed upright.

(Important side note: as I was taking this photo, an elderly neighbor informed me that I could likely take any of the toys if I was interested.  He also felt the need to inform me that they were really, really old and kind of dirty.  I wish I could have snapped a photo of HIM...)

So this is what affordable NY housing looks like, Pt 4: Retail Space

So far, my posts on affordable NY real estate have focused on residential domiciles (for a refresher, take a look at my first, second and third housing posts).  This week, I consider the impact of rising rents on small business owners in Brooklyn.

Take, for example, the below Animal Hospital, spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 7th Ave:

Note the reading material thoughtfully provided in the Vet's "waiting room"

There is a clear vacancy at the hospital, as evidenced by the open purple door (alternatively, there is a rabid dog on the loose - but that's a different post...).  Will the Vet be able to continue to afford to pay an astronomical Slope rent without full occupancy?  Or will this local hospital suffer the same fate as so many other small businesses in the neighborhood?

I know one little guy (also spotted on 11th Street and 7th Ave) who's counting on the hospital remaining open:

It appears the horse may have lost his legs in some sort of farming accident, given all of the machinery piled up to the left of him

Poor fella - just one short, errrr, step away from the glue factory...

A Victim of Fowl Play

Today's post comes courtesy of reader Danielle, who spotted the below critter on East 5th Street and 2nd Ave in Manhattan:

Poor poultry - killed on the mean streets of NY, like so many country birds that come to the big City with dreams of fame and fortune...

It's sad but true - before being carelessly discarded, it appears that this rooster had his wings bound and was strangled with a seat belt.  I don't know whether to call the sanitation department, the police, or the ASPCA.

(Kiddie) Pool Shark

Spotted in Carroll Gardens on Sackett Street and Court Street:

RIP: Taken in his prime...

If you live in NY, then unless you are a total hermit with central air, you know that we are in the midst of an oppressive heat wave.  The kind of heat wave where you prance around your apartment in your undies, linger as a long as possible in front of the open refrigerator, and sleep with absolutely zero bedding around you (even the thought of sheets is beyond abhorrent).

Which makes me ask the following question: WHY?  Why dump the kiddie pool now?!?  I'm not too proud to admit it - if I owned that pool, I would fill it with ice water and totally bask on the sidewalk.  No kiddies would be allowed, either (because I'm cranky when it's hot).

Rejected Dust Buster

Spotted in the Slope on 12th Street and 8th Ave:

Poor little guy - he just wants to clean!

I think it's his naive smile that makes this so sad...

Confessions of a Toy Abandoner

Spotted in... my living room.  SIGH.

And yes - if you're wondering, I do believe they were calling out for me from the confines of their plastic grave...

I had kept some of my childhood toys in the unbelievably vain hope that I would someday pass them on to my spawn.  Well, that time has come - Baby Abandoned Toys is on his way.  But with one look at (and smell of) these critters, I realized that there was no way in hell that I was going to let my kid snuggle up to one of them.

So they needed to go.  Which brings me to my second unbelievably vain hope - that somebody else would want my funky smelling/looking old toys!   Needless to say, it is very, very difficult to donate used stuffed animals to charity - most likely because of the bed bug epidemic.  But I also imagine it has something to do with the fact that no matter how much you launder a beloved childhood bear, you can never really get his matted fur into a semi-presentable state (or smell).

So, with a heavy heart, I watched my better half put the toys in a garbage bag and walk it down to the curb.  I then refused to exit the apartment until the trash was collected the next day - luckily, there had been no rooting through the bag; I don't think I could have handled seeing my critters strewn across the sidewalk and street.

I kinda feel like I had this coming - biblical parables are ringing in my ears ("Lest not ye be judged"), as well as a few of the secular variety (rocks and glass houses, pot calling kettle black, etc).   I hear you, cruel universe - but the blog must go on!

So this is what affordable NY housing looks like, Pt 3: Tent City

Sadly, I have another NY housing-related entry (for a recap on what's been covered thus far, have a look at my first and second housing posts).

The optimism that resulted from the beautiful dollhouses I found in June has been completely decimated by the following monstrosity, spotted on 5th Street and 7th Ave:

On the up side, how many Brooklyn apartments have you seen with natural light on all four sides - PLUS a skylight?

It's like a makeshift tent city... for toddlers!  Is this the start of a transient baby community?  Or was space inside the adjacent brownstone at such a premium that the parents decided to put their kid's room outside?

Such a sad state of affairs...

Abandonment with Class

Today's post comes via reader Stan, who spotted these treasures in Boerum Hill on Bergen and Smith Streets:

More organized than most neighborhood retail stores...

Now THAT'S how you get stuff to move: everything is clean, the toys are intact with all necessary pieces, similar items are grouped together, and the layout is very aesthetically pleasing.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that there is nothing sad about this photo at all - well done, random brownstoners in Boerum Hill; well done indeed.

Abandoned Toys: Tween "Achy Breaky" Edition

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 6th Ave:

Party in the USA indeed...

I always assumed that Miley would eventually end up on the streets; just not like this.

Now We're Cooking

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 5th Street:

Side note: There was a dude sitting in the van as I was taking these photos.  He thought I was crazy.

As you can see, there was a lot of renovation debris surrounding this li'l kitchen.  I've been trying to decide whether or not the kitchen was tossed as part of the remodeling process, or if it was set up as a makeshift street kitchen for the workers.  Ridiculous?  Perhaps - but consider the following view:

Sun-drenched kitchen with functional plumbing?  Consider me sold!

That is definitely a working hose sticking out just to the right of the kitchen.  Rudimentary, yes, but functional nonetheless.  And although it was filthy, this kitchen was nicer/bigger than many of the apartment kitchens I've seen in this town. 

Wayward West-Coast Sea Cockroach

Okay folks - get your passports out because we're leaving the borough of Brooklyn and going international!

Today's photo was snapped by reader Mohammad, who spotted a lone lobster on West Broadway between Ash and Heather Streets in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada:

So close, yet so far, from making it back to his ocean paradise...

Assuming this little guy was truly abandoned and not just lost, this photo represents yet another blemish on the city's record.  While Vancouverites have learned to live with a growing homeless population and recent looting and rioting, crustacean abandonment may very well be the seaweed that breaks the lobster's exoskeleton, if you will.

The good life, Park(ing) Slope style...

Spotted in the Slope on 8th Street and 7th Ave:

Question: In measuring a foot from the curb when parking this hot rod, are kiddie or adult feet used?

In all fairness, this toy may not have been abandoned - perhaps the owner was just running errands.  I mean, look at the care that was put into parking the car - the wheels are perfectly angled to prevent the vehicle from rolling forward on start up.  Does that seem like something a dispassionate owner would do?

No, this must be some kid's beloved car - and a lucky kid at that.  First, I'm in my 30s and STILL don't own a car.  Second, anyone with a car in the neighborhood knows how hard it is to come by a parking space.  So how did this miniature a-hole with the smartest of all smart cars manage to snag such a piece of prime real estate?

UnBEARable Tragedy...

Today's post comes via reader Allen, who spotted this sad little fella in Cobble Hill on Clinton Street and Pacific Street:

It's not clear to me whether this was some kid's beloved Teddy, or a cheesy adult bear (i.e., the kind of bear a dude might give his lady on Valentine's Day).  I guess it is the neck bow, which cheapens the overall bear look, no?

Anyways, if the bear belonged to a kid, it appears that he was loved... TO DEATH (note the gaping wound on his left leg).  Or maybe he was a stabbing victim (the Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill neighborhood is getting rough these days, after all).

But if the bear belonged to an adult, I'm left with even more questions.  Was his leg torn in a sordid breakup argument and then tossed with all of the ex's clothing?  Or perhaps Teddy had it with living in a broken home and decided to self-inflict a near fatal injury, just to get another chance on the outside...

Thoughts?

School's Out!

Ahhhh June.  What a great month.  Not only does it mark the transition from spring into summer, but also the end of the school year for thousands of kids across the country.

And how do these kids celebrate?

The ritual for high school kids, if I remember correctly, involves the violent destruction of notes and projects from the year, followed by the consumption of copious amounts of cheap beer and overly sweet liqueurs.  Because nothing says "I'm so adult" like a Peach Schnapps hangover...

For wee kids, giving a giant F-You to the year that was is slightly more nuanced.

Consider the following, spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 13th Street:

Sadly, this is about the size of the desk in my home office

Perhaps the former occupant of the desk simply outgrew it.  But the traces of angry scribbles on the chalkboard give me pause to think that something more subversive is going on; an indication that this pre-K kid has had it with booklearnin' for the year.

And what about this easel, spotted on 12th Street and 6th Ave:

Tool of creativity or symbol of oppression?

Was the former owner simply too old to continue finger painting?  Or does the tossing of this easel represent the protestations of a child hoping to overthrow the oppressive regime of having to produce art en masse every afternoon?

Perhaps we'll never know for sure, but I have my suspicions...

Reciprocal blog lovin'

Just a quick thanks to the kind folks at FIPS for the shout out in their blogroll this past Saturday - it was the cherry on my ice cream sundae of a weekend. 

Thug Life

Today's post comes courtesy of reader Ceci, who spotted these treasures in Carroll Gardens on President Street and Hicks Street:

DAMN - when did life in Carroll Gardens get so rough? 

In all seriousness, there are a few very important parts to this post.

First things first, where the heck did these guns come from?  Did our reader stumble upon the stockpile of a tween militia?  Or is this sad photo the result of anti-gun parents forcing a giveaway?  Regardless, I love that the owners took the time to arrange them so nicely.

Second, note the gun in the front:

Zut Alors! (That's for our Francophone audience)

What now?  Is that a homemade... bayonet?!?  Total gangsta living, French Revolution style.

Finally, I like that a jaunty little yellow guy was also included with the heavy artillery:

Nothing says thug like a fluorescent firearm

These are violent, dangerous times, my friends - fingers crossed the situation doesn't escalate to full-blown water balloon fights...

So this is what affordable NY housing looks like, Pt 2: Valley of the Doll(house)s

If you are a follower of this blog, you may recall my earlier post on affordable NY housing.

It really is a sad state of affairs: rents are high, spaces are small, and the threat of bedbugs is ever increasing.  Don't even get me started on rental brokers...

But things are looking up!

Consider this gem, spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 10th Street:

Very open concept...

Note the full bathroom (including bathtub!) - total luxury living...

Or this one, spotted on 12th Street and 8th Ave:

Yes, that is a stable on the left - finally a place for your horses!

Of course, neither appears to include a kitchen, but let's be honest - how often do you really cook at home anyways?

Too...Many...Puns...

Spotted in the Slope on Prospect Ave and Webster Place:

Thank you, Miss Katherine, thank you indeed...

This photo is a total pun gold mine for me:

1. "Wow, is Katherine ever trashed"... OR

2. "Wow, Katherine is really down in the dumps"... OR

3. "Wow, Katerine is really (upside) down in the dumps"...

It's just too much goodness!

Muppet gone AWOL

Spotted in the Slope on 6th Ave and 5th Street:

Sesame Street, we have a problem...

I don't think that Elmo fully thought out this escape route.  Things must have been pretty rough with his toddler master - godspeed, little muppet, godspeed...

Abandoned Toys: Now with commentary (and hair color options)!

Spotted in the Slope on 11th Street and 6th Ave:

Best. Advertising. Ever.

I love this photo for the following reasons:

1. The random commentary provided by the donor (who has the printing of a small child) for specific items.  Not only are the phrases enticing ("No Bed Bugs" and "It works!"), but ambiguous, in that it is unclear if the other items also work or are without bed bugs.  Geez - talk about amateur give away technique... pffft.

2. Mom was not forgotten in this extravaganza - hair color is included (although if she wants to go red, it appears that she is SOL)!

3. The lunch box, which has nothing funny about it - I just really liked it, and was very close to adopting the little guy...